...in the bottom drawer
I knew I'd lose it so I put it in a safe place, and now I can't remember where it is.

currently stashed in: Cheshire Street, London
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July 12, 2005 || 7:39 pm

Pretty scary news today that the bombers are almost certainly suicide bombers. I took my first public transport yesterday and I must admit to some nervousness. It is difficult to absorb the news that London - Londoners - have been attacked and may be again, especially because we don't see any evidence of the attacks as we go around the city. And everyone keeps acting as normal (and so do I) in the mean time. It could almost have been a bad dream - yet the discovery of explosives in Yorkshire and the conclusive CCTV footage assures us that it is all very real and very close to home.

I hate feeling suspicious and wary in this city where the multi-cultural scene has always been something that I have loved. Living, as I did before I left for America, in the largely Muslim East End, I prided myself on being often more relaxed than my friends about the cultural friction that was undeniably present when hipsters get drunk in trendy bars while women outside wear full hijab. I haven't been to the East End yet this trip but I'm sure the atmosphere there is charged. I hope we don't see reprisals on my doorstep among the community that has been trying to hold together a shaky but good-willed peace over the last few years.

Londoners are continuing to live our hedonistic, ephemeral lives but the more details emerge, the more immediate the threat appears. Seeing TV pictures of houses cordoned off and being searched inevitably makes you wonder whether the next one will be next door to you, and one is more aware of police sirens than ever before.

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